


Return

by SunflowerSupreme



Series: Nerdanel [3]
Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-02 09:21:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20273611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunflowerSupreme/pseuds/SunflowerSupreme
Summary: Nerdanel finally makes a grave marker for Kanafinwe, just in time for him to prove he doesn’t need it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of my story [Grandmother](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20249203/chapters/47992720#workskin), but you don’t have to read that one to make sense of this one.
> 
> But people wanted more Nerdanel and Celebrian, so I obliged.

There was something different in the garden.

Celebrian paused, her eyes running over the tangle of plants. It was, despite Nerdanel’s occasional and half-hearted attempts to the contrary, still mostly wild and overgrown. The artist claimed that she didn’t have the time to deal with it herself and that having anyone else take care of it would only serve as a distraction.

The only part she kept clear was the area around her memorial sculptures for her husband and sons.

That was when Celebrian noticed the difference.

The pedestals had been shifted, making room for another one to stand between Maedhros and Celegorm. Although the base was still empty, either because she hadn’t finished it or because she couldn’t stomach to put it out, it was clear it was intended for a statue of Maglor.

_I might as well make a marker for Kanafinwe,_ she had once told Celebrian. _For all the good it will do me to deny that he’s most likely dead._

Celebrian squared her shoulders and hurried up the steps to the house, letting herself in without knocking.

“Which one came with you today?” The sound came from above her head, and Celebrian looked up with a started cry to see Nerdanel perched on the chandelier.

“What are you doing?!” Celebrian demanded, rushing to the foot of the ladder Nerdanel had left beside her.

Nerdanel just looked down. “No one?” she asked, an eyebrow raised. “Good. I don’t need to be tripping over any of my inlaws.”

“My uncle may come by later,” Celebrian said quickly, too preoccupied with determining what Nerdanel was doing to think straight.

“Damn.”

“You are going to get _hurt_,” Celebrian pleaded, watching as Nerdanel adjusted the light sources in the chandelier, then removed it from its base entirely and slid it into her apron pocket.

“Show some respect, girl. I’m older than your mother.” With that, Nerdanel swung her feet over the edge and dropped some twenty feet to the ground. She landed easily on her feet and stood, dusting herself off as though it were nothing.

“I-” Celebrian didn’t know what to say, mouth still agape. “My grandfather has offered countless times to send someone to oversee repairs on the house,” she managed.

“Don’t need ‘em.” Nerdanel strode past her, disappearing into the depths of the house. “Don’t want ‘em.”

Celebrian shook her head and hurried after her. “You would have more time for your art,” she offered.

“I enjoy fixing things.” Nerdanel stopped short and Celebrian nearly ran into her. “Besides, no servant of my brother in law would know what to do with this.” She pulled the light source out of her pocket and held it out to Celebrian. Instinctually, Celebrian flinched back from the brightness.

Unlike most things that worried her - _triggered_ her, Finrod would say -her reaction to the light in Nerdanel’s palm had nothing to do with her capture by orcs. Instead, it brought to mind something else that was intrinsically linked with Nerdanel’s line.

“Is that-”

Nerdanel snorted. “This is nothing like the Silmarils,” she promised, pushing it into Celebrian’s hands. “It’s a harmless light my husband devised when he was still a child.” She narrowed her eyes at Celebrian, thinking for a moment, then casually said, “Of course, he was younger than you when he died. Strange thought, isn’t it?”

It was, and it didn’t help matters that Nerdanel turned and continued her way down the hall, leaving Celebrian gaping after her, the bright stone still in her hand.

“I saw the garden on my way in,” she called after her.

Nerdanel paused, glancing over her shoulder. “I still don’t want Arafinwe’s men there either. Valar only knows what they’d do to my children.”

Her children. Celebrian still wasn’t certain if she called the statues that because they depicted her long-dead sons, or it that was just what Nerdanel called all her creations. Like many things, she wasn’t certain she wanted to know.

“You’ve moved them.”

“I told you, Kanafinwe is as good as dead.” Nerdanel was moving again, but she motioned Celebrian after her. “Come, I’ll introduce you.”

* * *

Thankfully, despite Celebrian’s fears, Nerdanel didn’t mean ‘introduce’ in the literal sense. She seemed perfectly aware that the statue was an inanimate object, and was in no way trying to replace Maglor with it.

Not yet anyway.

Celebrian had never met the men who had raised her husband, and she took a long moment to stare at the statue before speaking. Nerdanel waited patiently.

Maedhros’ statue hadn’t interested her the way Maglor’s did. After all, Maedhros’ wouldn’t have looked anything like the man Elrond remembered, since Nerdanel had depicted him before his torments. But Maglor’s seemed to fit the descriptions she had been given.

“He looks…. kind.”

“He was,” Nerdanel said, brushing away a speck of dirt Celebrian hadn’t noticed. “Foolish. But kind. It was his downfall, in the end, I suppose.”

Celebrian snorted. “You have a strange way of showing your love for your sons.”

“By making them memorials?”

She shook her head, a soft smile creeping across her face. “No. The way you speak of them. Maedhros was too eager to please. Maglor was foolish with a weeping heart. Caranthir was stupid-”

“They weren’t perfect. I don’t pretend they were.”

“I don’t walk around telling everyone about the troubles my children have caused!”

“Would you rather I call them murderers?”

Celebrian clamped her mouth shut.

“Good,” Nerdanel said. “Now where’s that uncle of yours? I need his assistance to move this thing.”

* * *

Finrod only put up a token protest to helping with the statue, although he had seemed somewhat unnerved by it. “Of all the things in this house to fix, she picks this?” he had muttered to Celebrian.

The younger woman just shrugged.

They hadn’t let her help much, which was probably for the best still she still tired easily. Instead, she lead the way and held open doors as the passed.

“I know he enjoyed food,” Finrod complained, struggling to keep his cousin’s face from slamming into a wooden beam, “But he was never this heavy in life!”

“How much weight have you gained since your marriage?” Nerdanel retorted.

Celebrian bit back a grin at the way Finrod quickly glanced at his reflection in a mirror. “Hardly any,” he said proudly.

“Keep lying to yourself,” was all Nerdanel said. “And do try to pass on some of your habits to your niece. She looks like a wraith.”

Celebrian shivered.

Finally, they had the statue out where it belonged, perched on it’s pedestal between his brothers. Finrod slumped dramatically to the ground, fanning himself with his hand. “You picked the hottest day of the year, aunt.”

“Nonsense,” she sniffed. “It’s nearly autumn.” Then her eyes snapped to Celebrian. “Girl, make yourself useful and find us something cool to drink.”

Once Celebrian was out of sight she turned her gaze on Finrod.

“Whatever it was, it wasn’t me,” he said quickly.

“Oh do be quiet. She won’t be gone long.” Nerdanel cast once more quick glance at the door Celebrian had disappeared through, before continuing speaking, “I’m going to have her help me get the lawn under control. She has an eye for plants.”

Finrod raised an eyebrow. “She’s still weak. And besides, who told you that?”

“I found some elves who had sailed from Rivendell before she did.” The artist snorted. “Did none of you think to try that?”

Judging by his face, they hadn’t.

“And she’s only as weak as you let her be. If it weren’t for me, she’d still be laying in bed weeping.”

“Everyone needs to weep sometimes.”

“Not all the time. Not unless you’re a Vala.” 

Finrod glanced to make sure Celebrian wasn’t about to bounce back out of the door, then his eyes snapped to his aunt’s. “If she gets hurt-”

“Don’t you trust me?” When he didn’t answer, she reminded him, “You’re never too old to turn over my knee.”


	2. Chapter 2

Celebrian was quite happy to help in the garden.

Finrod, on the other hand, was not.

He’d insisted on helping, and yet, within a few hours, he was laying under a tree, complaining about the heat. “Horrible working conditions, auntie,” he said, one hand flopped over his eyes to shade them from the sun.

“Don’t call me auntie!” was shouted from a nearby bush. A red head poked out of the top of it, a thoroughly unpressed expression on her face. “I suppose you’d prefer to be back on the grinding ice?”

He seemed to consider his reply, and how offended he should be, for a moment before finally remarking, “At least the company was better.”

Celebrian shook her head. Her hair and clothes were drenched with sweat and she too was sprawled in the shade, but Nerdanel seemed more forgiving of her than of her uncle. When Celebrian had apologized, Nerdanel had just pointed a shovel at Finrod and said, “At least you’ve got an excuse, girl.”

The artist herself didn’t seem to mind the heat at all.

As her two supposed helpers rested in the shade she continued pulling back weeds and beating at the overgrown bushes, her messy red curls beginning to fall out of her bun, sticking to her neck from sweat.

“Well, would you look at that?!” she exclaimed as she pushed aside a rather large bush, staring down at something on the ground. “I’d been wondering if we’d find any of those.”

Finrod raised an eyebrow and Celebrian sat up curiously. “What is it?”

Nerdanel waved her off. “No stay over there,” she said. “I don’t know if it’s active.”

“Active!?” Finrod shot up in alarm, looking at his niece as if he was contemplating grabbing her and making a run for it.

“Uh-huh.” Nerdanel leaned over and picked up whatever it was, then turned on her heel and trotted off toward the house. “Remember when your cousins dared Atarinke to make fireworks?” she called over her shoulder.

Finrod could only gape. “It’s thousands of years old,” he said in disbelief. “Surely it would become less potent over time?” he called as she came back into view, this time without the explosive.

“It tends to be the opposite, actually.” She seemed remarkably calm about the ordeal.

He looked at Celebrian who was hiding her amusement behind her fan. “Should we be here?” he asked.

“It becomes more entertaining every minute,” was all she would say.

Thankfully for Finrod’s nerves, they didn’t find any more explosives as they cleared the garden over the following days, only what appeared to be the decayed remains of unknown objects. Nerdanel frowned as Celebrian lifted yet another tangled mass of rusted metal from the ground. “Well,” she grumbled. “Someone’s been throwing junk in my yard.”

“Perhaps it was a decoration you forgot about,” Finrod suggested, tossing it into the heap they’d been building up.

Nerdanel placed her hands on her hips. “You think mine or my husband’s creations would _rust_?” she demanded. “You foolish-”

“Why would anyone throw garbage in your yard?” Celebrian interrupted, trying to prevent the arguement she could see starting. 

“Because they hate my kids,” she retorted, stomping off into the house.

Celebrian moved to follow her, but Finrod caught her wrist. “Let her be,” he cautioned. “She can take care of herself.”

“Just because she can doesn’t mean she should.” Celebrian pushed herself to her feet and followed after Nerdanel. Her gait was slow and uneasy, the work in the garden taking a toll on her already weak state, but she pushed along determinedly. Before she could even get to the door, Nerdanel was pushing her way back out, a tray in one hand.

“I was getting us drinks, girl,” she said, grabbing Celebrian with her spare hand and dragging her back toward Finrod. “Not off having a cry.”

Celebrian let herself be pulled back. “I didn’t-”

“Yes, you did,” Nerdanel retorted. “Now sit and drink something before your grandfather comes after me again.”

“Father’s been here?” Finrod asked in surprise.

Nerdanel nodded. “He made it as far as my statues before yelling at me to come out and talk to him like an adult.”

Finrod snatched a lemonade off the tray. “He doesn’t like your statues?” He looked as though he couldn’t blame his father for that. They still seemed to unnerve Finrod, although, even Celebrian had to admit that having Celegorm grinning wildly over them was getting to be a bit much.

Nerdanel snorted. “He won’t go anywhere near any of my of my statues, not since I gave him a walloping for breaking one.”

Finrod snorted, spitting lemonade through his nose. “Pardon me- what?!” he spluttered.

“You weren’t born yet,” Nerdanel said, shrugging. “He was just a child - and lucky it was me that caught him and not my husband.” Celebrian tilted her head, unable to see Nerdanel hitting a child over an accident, despite her repeated threats of turning Finrod over her knee. As if answering her unspoken question, Nerdanel murmured, “Thought he’d died when I heard the crash.”

“I do want the rest of the story later, you understand,” Finrod said, his eyes gleaming with mischief. “But first - what was he doing here?”

“Oh he thinks I’m overworking his lovely lady,” she replied with a shrug. “I told him he’s welcome to come himself. His head would make a fine battering ram.”

“That would be lovely,” Celebrian said, cheerfully, choosing to ignore the battering ram comment.

Nerdanel’s eyes shot up. “Don’t you put that idea in his head,” she said sternly. “It’s bad enough tripping over that one and whichever of your cousins he drags along.”

“They’re trying to help!” Finrod objected.

Nerdanel didn’t seem convinced. “Well bring Arakano next time, I’ve got a few small trees I’d like to cut down, and he’s about the same size as them.”


	3. Chapter 3

It took them most of the summer to get the lawn cleared. They took out everything except the larger trees - Nerdanel had pointed a thumb at Argon and said, ‘if it’s taller than him, it can stay’ - which left a large and bare expanse for them to fill back in.

They could have gotten more work done, but Celebrian tired easily and rarely made it down more than a few days a week. Or, if she managed to make her way to Nerdanel’s house more than that, she just sat in a chair and chatted as the smith puttered around, working on her indoor projects.

They continued work inside throughout the winter, although Celebrian could already tell that Nerdanel wasn’t the type to ever stop fixing and changing things. They had to take the same door off its hinges and realigned it three times before she was satisfied.

Celebrian took to walking by herself, although more often than not Finrod or one of her other self-appointed minders would turn up later in the day, even if they didn’t stay.

One day she arrived just as a light snow was starting, so she didn’t take the time to knock before hurrying inside. “Lady Nerdanel?” she called, shrugging off her cloak and hanging it on a peg by the door. “Are you home?”

There was no response.

Knowing Nerdanel wouldn’t want her standing like a lost child in the entrance hall, she carefully walked deeper into the house, still calling out.

Finally, a voice answered her, “Down here!”

Thankfully, Nerdanel wasn’t hanging from any chandeliers.

Instead, she was standing in what had once been the top of one of the turrets of the house, which large windows on all sides, mostly overlooking the gardens, sorting through piles of paper. They were all covered in messy handwriting, and she tossed them into boxes almost indiscriminately.

Celebrian paused. “Your work?” she asked, curiously, lifting a sheet from one of the nearer piles.

It was sheet music.

A wave of understanding hit her before Nerdanel even had to explain. “A music room,” Celebrian whispered.

“My son’s,” Nerdanel replied, continuing her quest of tidying. “He liked to play at odd hours, so we were all happiest putting him and his music as far from the rest of us as possible.

Celebrian had to smile. “Elrond once said he could never sleep through the night.”

“Kanafinwe?”

“No.” She laughed. “My husband. He said Kanafinwe was up at odd hours, playing or singing.”

Nerdanel grunted. “Maitimo ought to have put a stop to that if it was disturbing the children.”

“He couldn’t sleep if Kanafinwe didn’t play.”

Nerdanel stilled for a moment, as though the thought hadn’t even crossed her mind, and Celebrian wondered if she’d said too much. Then the woman went back to shoving papers away, asking, “What else did your husband say about them?”

“He didn’t talk about them, not when he could avoid it,” Celebrian said softly, sinking into an armchair. There wasn’t much she could do to assist Nerdanel, the woman seemed to have some method of organization, even if Celebrian couldn’t figure it out.

“Can’t blame him.”

“It wasn’t that he didn’t love them - quite the opposite, really.” She twisted her wedding ring on her finger. “He made my ring, you know.” It slid from her finger easily, even though she rarely took it off, even to sleep.

Nerdanel took it from her slowly, running an appraising eye over it. If the change of subject surprised her, she didn’t let it show. “He’s not much of a smith. Passable, but my husband would never have accepted this level of craftsmanship.” She snorted, grinning to herself as she said, “Aulë would have much kinder things to say about it, I’d imagine.”

“I asked why he chose a ruby,” she said, rubbing at her bare finger. “It’s an odd choice for a wedding band, but then, he’s an odd man.”

“I’d have chosen a sapphire for you,” Nerdanel said, running her eyes across her as though imagining her pick. “A light one, with a silver band. Perhaps a star sapphire, even. In grey.”

Celebrian’s ring was the opposite, a red gem. But she didn’t mind. “He said the gem belonged to his father.” She leaned back into his chair. “I never asked who he meant by that.”

Nerdanel looked back at the ring in her hand, then held it up to the light. She pulled a jeweler’s magnifying glass from her pocket and peered at it for a moment. Then she tossed the ring back with a single word, “Maitimo.”

Celebrian nodded, sliding the ring back onto her finger. “He hated the ocean you know. Despised it.”

“Oh?”

“He lived in Lindon for nearly an age, but as soon as he founded Rivendell, he never looked back. I enjoyed the sea, I loved taking my children there and visiting Lord Cirdan. He always went with us, but grudgingly.”

“Did he not like that crabby old shipwright?”

“Whenever we visited, he would rise early in the morning and stare out across the sands before daybreak. He never told me why, but I knew what he was doing. He was listening for Kanafinwë.”

Nerdanel lifted her head, a hint of desperation in her eyes. “Did he ever find him?”

Celebrian sucked in a deep breath, unable to meet the other woman’s eyes. “One day, many years ago, he went on a long walk down the shore. He was gone all day. Glorfindel was ready to send a search party after him by the time he came back.” Her voice dropped, nearly a whisper. “It was nearly dusk. He just walked into the city, didn’t say a word. His shoes and coat were missing and he had sand and sea salt in his hair. Glorfindel was demanding to know what he’d been doing, the twins and Arwen came running from the stables, Cirdan from inside the house. But he didn’t even acknowledge any of them. Finally, he looked at me, and he was quiet that I must have been the only who heard, and he said, _‘I think I hate him._’ “

Nerdandel looked away, looking back down at the music sheets in her hands wordlessly.

But Celebrian wasn’t finished. “He didn’t speak to me all night. But the next morning, I rose before him for the first time. He wasn’t watching the sand, he was just laying in bed, looking up at the ceiling. _‘I always wondered,’_ he said, _‘if he loved us, or if he just loved his own guilt.’_ “

She let out a dry snort. “Perhaps it makes me a bad wife, but I told him that if anyone was in love with their own misery it was him.”

Nerdanel laughed at that, and surprisingly it didn’t seem forced. “I knew I liked you, girl.” Then her face grew more serious. “You told me he loved them.”

“Oh he did,” she said, leaning back in her chair. “That’s why it was so easy for him to hate him for leaving.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in case anyone is wondering: yes he found Maglor that day on the ocean. That’s why his shoes were missing. He tried to bring him back, but Maglor refused, so he gave him his shoes and coat. 
> 
> Celebrian just assumed he didn’t find him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to me for misspelling Fingon as “Gonfin”

Spring finally arrived, and with it came improved weather.

It meant they could once again work in the gardens, following the plans that Celebrian had carefully drawn up for them. Nerdanel even seemed to grow to enjoy having Celebrian’s usual entourage around, since it gave her more people to boss around.

Fingon ended up in charge of coordinating everything since he seemed to have a knack for knowing where everyone was or what they might be up to.

Finrod put himself in charge of procuring plants. It worked well, given that he seemed to know everyone and that people liked him enough to give him whatever he asked for, no matter how rare.

Without asking or being asked, Turgon invited himself to build Nerdanel a gazebo in the backyard, with a hedge wrapped around it. “I don’t want a gazebo,” Nerdanel had grumbled when he’d first suggested it. Celebrian told her to let her nephew have his fun. He’d even gotten Ecthelion to help him with a fountain for it.

Nerdanel had shaken her head and muttered, “Gazebos shouldn’t have fountains.”

Argon just did whatever Nerdanel told him, although, more often than not, she just took advantage of his size and made him move things around.

Celebrian found herself doing much less work than she’d intended, but enjoying every moment of it anyway. When she wasn’t overseeing the planting, she sat and watched Turgon work on his gazebo. He wouldn’t allow her (or anyone) to do much in terms of helping but he was happy to tell stories and listen to Celebrian’s.

Sprawled on a chair in the nearly completed gazebo, she watched as he tried to make sense of Ecthelion’s notes regarding the fountain. He had - seemingly - almost figured it out, when a shout of “Turukano!” echoed toward them. Nerdanel was marching toward them, her red hair flying.

He paled.

“Come control your brother!”

Turgon and Celebrian exchanged a glance, the latter of the two having to hide her grin behind her fan. “What happened?” he asked nervously.

“He’s invited help, that’s what,” she said, stomping up to the gazebo, arms folded across her chest. “I now have my in-laws traipsing about my garden.”

“Grandfather came?” Celebrian asked, raising an eyebrow.

Nerdanel grunted. “And brought that featherbrain of his.”

Turgon was quick to jump to Earwen’s defense. “My aunt is perfectly fine-”

“At keeping swans, but what else has she ever done?” Celebrian had always found Earwen’s pets to be a bit menacing - she’d been bitten by a swan years ago and never forgotten it - but she didn’t mind them half as much as Nerdanel seemed to.

“She raised my mother and uncles,” Celebrian objected.

“Yes,” Nerdanel said, folding her arms across her chest. “Swans, the lot of them..”

Turgon sighed, standing and brushing off his knees. “Well,” he said, “seeing as how I can’t fix the fountain, I may as well attempt to fix whatever my brother has done.”

Nerdanel raised an eyebrow. “Your fountain’s not working because the water spigot is turned off.” Before Turgon could say anything, she turned the spigot. Immediately water roared to life, soaking the former king.

Celebrian laughed so hard her stomach hurt.

Back in the front yard, Arafinwë was standing as far from Nerdanel’s statues as he could get, beside him, Earwen seemed blessedly unaware of why he was so perturbed by them.

Argon was nowhere in sight, although, if Celebrian had to guess, he was probably back at the gazebo laughing at his older brother.

Thankfully for Nerdanel’s sanity, Arafinwë and Earwen didn’t seem interested in helping in the garden, only in visiting. Though somewhat frustrated, Nerdanel gave them a tour, leading them around and showing off what they had done with vague comments such as, “That’s a tree. And that’s a bush. There’s another tree. And that’s also a tree, I suppose. Those are flowers.”

To his credit, Arafinwë remained polite, nodding along with Nerdanel and letting her stomp around.

As they toured, Earwen sat beside Celebrian. “He won’t admit it,” she said with a smile, “but he’s very fond of her.”

“Well,” Celebrian replied, her eyes glittering, “she won’t admit it, but I think she’s rather fond of him.”

The two shared a laugh.

Earwen leaned back, looking around the garden appreciatively. “I always thought it was a shame this place fell into ruin,” she said. “But I understand why she didn’t wish to return. Although, I do wish she would move those statues around to the back.”

Of course, Earwen wouldn’t want to see the statues. It was her people that had been massacred in the first kinslaying. Before Celebrian could stop herself, she blurted, “Do you hate them?”

Earwen didn’t seemed bothered. “I did. I hated them for a very, very long time.”

“Why did you stop?”

She turned to look at her granddaughter, her eyes gleaming with sadness. “They were not the only ones corrupted by the Silmarils. When a mother gives up her children to keep a jewel, there is something inherently wrong. Either Elwing was a fool, or she was corrupted by that jewel, the same as them.”

“Elrond seemed to think it was because his mother was-” Celebrian stopped herself, clamping her hand over her mouth. It was probably best if she didn’t go telling everyone Elrond’s private thoughts.

“His mother was a what?” Nerdanel had returned, her eyes gleaming. Arafinwë and Finrod were both with her, looking embarrassed by her antics. “Fool? Whore? Bitch? Don’t leave us hanging, girl!”

“Nerdanel!” Earwen scolded. “My son heard that.”

“Mother!” Finrod objected. “I’m not a child.”

Celebrian saw her chance, ducking out of the conversation, letting Arafinwë wrap an arm around her and walk back toward the gates. “Shall we leave them to it?” he asked.

“We shall,” she said happily, leaning into her grandfather and laughing. As they rounded the building, they caught a glimpse of Turgon and Argon, both soaked through to the skin.

"I'm not asking," Arafinwe muttered. 

"I saw nothing," Celebrian promised, and they hurried outside. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Earwen is called the Swan Maiden, which is where Nerdanel gets ‘feather brain’ from


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys didn't like the angst in chapter two, so I gave you more angst.

Celebrian was almost sad when Nerdanel’s garden was completed, although she doubted Nerdanel would ever stop tweaking things.

The years drifted by, and Celebrian found herself befriending other elves, or meeting up with long lost friends who had sailed before her. But she still spent hours in Nerdanel’s gardens, or in her home. Every holiday she was given a new plant, strange and unusual, and although they never had a name attached, she knew who they came from.

When she turned up on Nerdanel’s doorstep in the pouring rain, soaked and sobbing, the smith let her in without question.

“Don’t drip on my floor,” she grumbled, handing Celebrian a towel.

“I had to get away,” she whispered, grabbing Nerdanel’s wrist, pulling the woman closer. “They won’t stop pitying me.”

“Well, I’m not going to pity you.”

“That’s why I’m here.”

Nerdanel snorted. “Come, girl. I’ll make us tea.”

Celebrian followed her through the now familiar halls, then curled in front of the kitchen fire as Nerdanel started the water boiling. “I’m never going to see her again,” she whispered softly, staring into the flickering flames.

“Why would she leave me?”

Nerdanel shrugged. “People do dumb things for love, girl. Look at you, you married a half-elf even knowing your children might choose the other half.”

“But I didn’t think that they would!” Celebrian started to sob all over again, and Nerdanel sighed.

“Girl,” she said, her voice softer than usual. “Is crying going to fix anything?”

“I don’t know,” Celebrian whispered.

Nerdanel made a disgusted noise. “Would you believe me if I told you Makalaure used to cry over everything?”

Celebrian sniffed, giving Nerdanel an odd look. “Pardon?”

“He was such a weepy child, and every time he started up, Maitimo would rush to the rescue, fixing whatever it was that had upset him. His harp string broke? Maitimo would restring it. The kitten ran away? Maitimo would find it.” She sighed, shaking her head. “Finally I told Maitimo, ‘_You know why he does that? Because if he cries, you do whatever he wants. You stop bending to his whim, and he’ll stop that._’ “ Her keen eyes turned on Celebrian. “No one can fix this for you, dear, no matter how hard you cry.”

Celebrian swallowed. “What happened?” she croaked. “When you told Maitimo to stop?”

Nerdanel chuckled. “Kana cried for two straight days before he realized Maitimo wasn’t going to help him, that time. And then he dried his tears, and never did it again.” She wrung her hands. “It hurt Maitimo, to leave him to suffer, but he did it out of love.”

The smith sighed, leaning closer to Celebrian as though she was telling her a secret. “Sometimes, I tell myself that’s how he convinced Maitimo to keep those children.”

Celebrian felt herself smile at the thought of Maglor crying until his brother let him kidnap someone. “Well, Elrond never told me it didn’t happen.” 

“Then I for one shall choose to believe it did.”

The tea kettle whistled and Nerdanel hopped over to pull it from the fire, adding tea leaves and then leaving it to seep. “Do you trust her judgment?” she asked, one eyebrow raised.

“I- of course, I do.”

“Then you will just have to live with that.” Nerdanel pulled mugs from the cabinets.

“I understand that!”

“Then what are you crying about?” Nerdanel tutted. “You say you don’t want to be pitied and yet you continue to weep.”

“My daughter is dead.”

“No. Your daughter is _going_ to die. There’s a difference.”

Celebrian snorted. “What kind of difference is that?”

“She’s going to be happy, don’t you see that?” Nerdanel asked, tilting her head. “She chose this path and you must respect that. Even if it hurts.”

Celebrian looked away, swallowing. “I suppose you’re right.”

“I always am.” Nerdanel poured tea into the mugs, then handed one to Celebrian, keeping the other for herself. It was still much too warm to drink so they just held them.

“I want to tell her I love her,” Celebrian admitted, “But I cannot send a letter back across the sea.”

“Don’t worry,” Nerdanel murmured, sipping her tea. “She knows.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Maglor returns


	6. Chapter 6

“Elrond’s ship is nearly here.” Celebrian had run from the palace as soon as the news had reached them, but she’d made one stop first. Nerdanel was her closest friend in Valinor, and wanted to share her happiness.

But Nerdanel only grunted in reply, so Celebrian tried a more direct approach. “I thought you might want to meet it with me.”

“Why?”

“Well I-”

“Fresco is time-sensitive, if I leave now I’ll have to start all over again. Even your pretty husband isn’t that important, girl.”

Celebrian shook her head, not willing to waste any more time arguing when Nerdanel when all she wanted was to race down to the shore and wait for her husband. “Very well,” she said, “we will visit you later when your painting is done.”

Then she hurried back outside and caught up with Arafinwe, Earwen, and Finrod, who were already on their way.

“We thought you would already be there,” Earwen said, giving her a smile.

Celebrian shook her head. “I suppose I should be-”

“My aunt’s stubborn,” Finrod said, clearly having worked out where she’d been. “If she came, she’d have to admit she cares about you in public, and we know she’s not capable of that.”

They sat by the water, and although they could see the boat already, it seemed to be crawling at an impossibly slow speed toward them. Celebrian seriously considered swimming for it, but something told her that her grandparents would stop her if she tried.

So she sat and bounced impatiently.

Finally, the ship was near enough that she could almost see the faces of those on board, and she couldn’t take it any longer, getting up to pace until they reached them.

Arafinwe shook his head at first, but after only a few moments, he joined her in her pacing.

Finally, after what felt like longer than all the four hundred years they had been apart, Elrond stepped from the boat and Celebrian’s heart soared.

But he paused and turned to help someone else after him. She had never met the tall elf before, and yet she knew him immediately: Maglor.

But she pushed all the thoughts of him from her mind and raced forward, throwing her arms around Elrond’s neck. He grabbed her back and for a moment it was as if they were alone in the world. She was barely aware of the fact that she was numbly repeating his name over and over, but at the same time, he seemed to be repeating hers.

After several long moments, they finally pulled away. He gestured to Maglor, who was engaged in a horrifying staring contest with Arafinwe, and said, “May I introduce you to-”

“Kanfinwe!” she cried out, throwing her arms around him. He remained perfectly still for a moment, then awkwardly patted her on the back.

She pulled back, a smile on her face. “I’ve heard so much about you,” she said excitedly.

Maglor gave Elrond a helpless look, and he quickly said, “Not from me.”

“Your mother is a wonderful woman,” Celebrian said, letting go of Maglor, only to change her mind and pull both him and Elrond into a hug.

He almost looked terrified at the mention of his mother, but Celebrian didn’t wait for him to say anything, pulling him and Elrond from the dock before the Feanorian jumped back into the boat.

She smiled at the halflings - deciding she didn’t even want to know _what_ Elrond was planning to do with them - and stepped back onto the wide path.

Arafinwe was attempting to hold a conversation with Galadriel, seemingly delighted to have his child back, but that was complicated by the fact that Finrod had wrapped his arms around his sister and refused to let go.

“Mine,” he grumbled as Celebrian approached, still dragging Elrond and Maglor behind her.

Celebrian settled for embracing both her mother and uncle at the same time.

Galadriel stroked her hair and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “Your father is being difficult,” she whispered. “He will come soon. He’s promised to bring your boys along with him.”

“As glad as I am to see all of you,” Arafinwe said hesitantly, and Celebrian broke away from her mother to listen. “I cannot ignore-”

Maglor pulled back again as his uncle’s gaze fell on him, looking as though he was ready to jump back in the boat and make a break for it.

But to everyone’s surprise, Gandalf saved him, saying, “The Valar have invited him, King Arafinwe, his presence will be of no trouble to you.”

Arafinwë still seemed worried. “As Feanor’s eldest son, he does have a strong claim to-”

“No!” Maglor said sharply, the first words he had spoken since his arrival. “I want to find my mother and be left in peace.”

“You won’t find that here,” Celebrian muttered. Finrod elbowed her.

“I will not trouble you,” Maglor promised again. “I have no intention of returning to Tirion anytime soon.”

“Your mother lives in Tirion,” Celebrian interjected.

The minstrel scowled, but before he could ask for Arafinwë’s permission, the king shook his head. “You are welcome, nephew. Come. The rest of our family is waiting.”

“The rest of them?” Maglor asked nervously.

“Maybe I’m just a silly old hobbit,” interrupted the older of the halflings, “but this seems like an awful lot of fuss. Let him go home, and let us find chairs. And food!”

The younger halfling laughed. “Bilbo!” he scolded.

“I agree with Bilbo!” Celebrian said loudly, resting her hands on his shoulders. “Let us go _home_.”

Apparently, word that Elrond had been accompanied by the last Feanorian traveled faster than they did, because, by the time they had herded their party off the docks, Celebrian could see her cousins racing toward them.

Maglor was looking at the halflings, not paying attention to his surrounds, possibly intentionally, and Celebrian only had a half-second to warn, “Brace yourself.”

“Kanafinwë!” Argon got to them first, which probably had more to do with the fact that he’d shoved both his brothers and less to do with his longer legs.

Maglor jerked up at the sound of his voice, turning sharply, and for the first time, a genuine smile broke over his face. “Arakano!” He had only a second to look happy before his much larger cousin barreled into him.

“He’s always like that,” Celebrian whispered to Elrond, who appeared to be hiding laughter behind his hand. “Nerdanel can’t stand him.”

Finrod valiantly tried to look angry, but it lasted all of five seconds before he, too gave Maglor a hug. Turgon was too stubborn to say anything, but even he seemed a bit pleased to see his long lost cousin.

It was Galadriel who broke the happiness, looking at her cousins with a pained face. “This is… all?”

“My sister won’t leave her son,” Fingon explained, his growing serious.

“I’ve petitioned for my nephew’s release,” Turgon said, looking similarly troubled. Celebrian hadn’t know that. She gave him a surprised look, but the former king only shrugged and said nothing more on the matter.

“Our siblings-” Finrod shrugged, seeming to know the topic didn’t exactly need explaining. “I don’t know.”

“Let us not dwell on what we’ve lost,” Earwen said, wrapping her arm tightly around her daughter. “But on what we’ve gained.”

They were almost to Nerdanel’s house by that time, and Celebrian was surprised when the rest of her relatives agreed to accompany them to see the artist. The Hobbits had a surprising knowledge of Elven history, and Bilbo surprised Finrod by admonishing him when he tried to explain who Nerdanel was. "I've read your histories!" he grumbled. But it was clear the hobbits were already worn out from their journey, so when they reached Nerdanel's gate, Gandalf broke away, leading the halflings on to the palace. 

“Has she changed?” Galadriel asked, examining the row of statues with a raised brow. 

“No,” Earwen assured her.

“Yes,” Arafinwe corrected. “She’s worse.”

Celebrian gave her grandfather a pointed look, then strode ahead of them to ring the doorbell.

Thankfully the artist must have been nearby because it only took her a few moments before the door opened and she peered outside. “I didn’t mean you had to bring your sad puppy here to meet me so soon.” She had a paintbrush still dangling in one hand, as though she only planned to step away from her work for a moment.

“Well, I did bring him. But I brought you something better.” Celebrian stepped aside, letting Nerdanel see past her to where Maglor was standing with Elrond, giving his own statue a rather uneasy look.

The smith stilled, her eyes widening. “Makalaurë-” for a moment it looked as though she might cry. Celebrian wasn’t certain how to respond if she did. Nerdanel wasn’t usually one for emotions. But then the artist’s face stiffened, fury building in her eyes.

“Kanafinwe Feanorian!” she bellowed, pushing past Celebrian, shoving her paintbrush into her disheveled hair. “You horrible, ungrateful, child!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is (I think) one more chapter. Maybe two.
> 
> Also now I want a sequel where Maeglin gets released and Nerdanel and Elrond start a Home for Wayward Kinslayers. Who’s with me?


	7. Chapter 7

Maglor took a step back, as though contemplating hiding behind Elrond. For his part, Elrond didn’t seem to understand why Nerdanel was so furious.

“You let your mother think you were dead all this time-”

“I-” he began.

“I’m not through!” She reached her row of statues, but instead of continuing toward Maglor, she stopped long enough to grab his and fling it to the ground where it shattered.

Celebrian winced, sorry to see the fine work be destroyed, although she supposed Nerdanel probably thought it was therapeutic.

Or she just wanted to scare her son.

Either way, she doubted Finrod was going to be pleased, even after nearly four centuries he still complained about having moved it all the way outside. He was just standing beside his sister, gaping at the destruction.

Elrond met Celebrian’s eyes, then seemed to take the hint that she wasn’t too concerned about the show, and took several quick steps back, away from the confrontation.

Good.

Maglor needed to stop trying to hide behind him.

“You’ve been alive all this time and you couldn’t have bothered to give me some sort of sign!?” She covered the remaining distance between herself and her son quickly, and although they were almost the same height, she seemed to tower over him.

“I - well, I couldn’t exactly-”

“Oh stop making excuses you stupid boy!” She hit him with her paintbrush, leaving a streak of paint down his arm. “That man right there would have sent a letter if you’d bothered to ask!”

“I was in exile-”

“Self-imposed!” Elrond and Nerdanel had both spoken at the same time, and Celebrian had to bite back a grin as they looked at one another.

Arafinwe seemed to be enjoying the show the most, although it probably had something to do with his dislike of Nerdanel’s statues, and he wasn’t even trying to hide the grin on his face. Beside him, Earwen only shook her head.

“Mother I-”

“What happened to your hand?!”

Celebrian had noticed that Maglor had kept one hand tucked into his shirt, out of sight, but she hadn’t thought much of it. Until Nerdanel smacked him with the paintbrush, and he’d reached out instinctively to grab the brush.

His hand blackened, the palm worst of all.

As soon as she’d spoken, Nerdanel seemed to realize what they were looking at. Scars from where the Silmaril had burned him. For a moment, they all just stared at him.

Then she switched tactics immediately, grabbing his wrist and grumbling, “Do you ever wash?” as she pulled him back inside.

No one seemed to know what to do, until Nerdanel shouted, “Girl, isn’t your sad puppy a healer?”

“Sad puppy?” Galadriel mouthed, seeming amused.

“Does she mean me?” Elrond asked. “I’m not certain I can do anything for that. He wouldn’t even let me see it earlier.”

“You’d best just do what she wants,” Arafinwe said finally.

Somehow, only Celebrian and Elrond ended up following Nerdanel, the others branching off to go to the palace. Once inside they followed the sounds of Nerdanel’s griping into the kitchen.

“Are they gone?” she asked as Celebrian and Elrond caught up.

“Good.”

“Mother!”

Nerdanel frowned at her son. “Is that the only word you remember?” she asked.

“No!”

She pointed at him with the paintbrush that was still in her hand. “That’s his favorite word you know.”

“No, it isn’t!”

“See?”

Maglor clamped his mouth shut, seeming to understand he wasn’t doing himself any favors. His mother continued banging around in the kitchen, although she switched from complaining about Maglor’s hand to complaining about how thin he looked.

Ignoring the commotion, Elrond sat across the table from Maglor, holding out his hand. “Does it hurt?”

“Not today,” Maglor admitted, his eyes still watching his mother’s every movement. “Some days it’s intolerable, some days I don’t notice it at all.”

Celebrian leaned closer, getting a better look, and immediately regretted it. The burn on his palm looked as though it had happened only moments before. She frowned.

“I’m not certain I can do anything for it,” Elrond confessed.

“I didn’t think you could,” Maglor admitted.

“Neither did I but at least it got rid of my in-laws!” Nerdanel said.

Elrond smiled. “They don’t seem so bad?”

“Don’t seem so bad? Did you see my brother-in-law? You have to watch that one! He was already planning on breaking the rest of my sculptures!”

“No, he wasn’t,” Celebrian laughed.

“Yes, he was!”

Nerdanel dropped food in front of them, a simple meal of meat and cheese, but Maglor dug into it as though he’d never seen food before. “Wash your hands!” his mother said, aghast.

Once they’d all washed up they settled back around the table, Maglor alternating between cramming as much food as he could into his mouth and trying to look around the room. “It’s barely changed,” he said.

“I offered to paint, but she wouldn’t let me,” Celebrian explained.

“You can’t paint, that’s why,” Nerdanel snapped.

Celebrian ignored the gab, shaking her head. “You should see the garden, it’s lovely.”

“Once we got your cousins out of it,” Nerdanel said.

“Speaking of cousins,” Elrond said, a smile spreading across his face. “Look in the gazebo.”

Nerdanel didn’t even have to look. “Just because he built that damned thing doesn’t mean he can go there whenever he pleases,” she grumbled. Turgon, Argon, and Fingon were all sprawled in the gazebo, chattering happily amongst themselves. She stomped to the window and lobbed an apple at them, but Fingon just caught it and ate it happily.

“She likes them, I promise,” Celebrian whispered to her husband.

Maglor seemed torn, as though he couldn’t decide if he wanted to go outside and talk to his cousins or stay inside with his mother. Eventually, he seemed to decide that there was more food inside, and he ignored the group in the garden.

“You must see her library,” Celebrian said excitedly to her husband. “She has thousands of books, on every subject imaginable.” She offered Maglor a smile, saying, “and all of your music, of course.”

“Why is my music in the library?” Maglor asked, tilting his head. “It belongs in my music room.” He turned quickly, looking over his shoulder and out the window as if to make sure the tower where his music room had been was still there.

“We can put it back,” Celebrian said quickly.

Nerdanel raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think you’ll be doing much playing, not until we fix that hand of yours,” she said.

“Elrond said-”

“I said I can do nothing for it, but I’m certain that someone can.” 

“But first,” his mother said. “You’re going to start by helping me fix what you’ve ruined.”

“You’re the one who broke the sculpture,” Maglor reminded her.

“I didn’t mean the sculpture!” she snapped. “I was working on a fresco before you turned up and now it’s gone and dried on me!”


End file.
